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The Banker brings his wicked words to Twitter

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

Clearly not content with causing upset and misery to Deal Or No Deal contestants on the Dream Factory phone each weekday, The Banker has joined Twitter to taunt, and haunt them. Not only that, he’s venting his spleen on all manner of other things for the great British public’s contemplation.

So far, we have found out that he has a penchant for vuvuzelas, wears a silk bath gown, dislikes Noel Edmonds’ shirts and watches a LOT of television. Lord only knows what else he will reveal? Here are his last five tweets:

Morning Twits (is that the term?). I’m on my way to Wimbledon with a ladyfriend. She’s not been for about 33 years so she’s very excited.

A productive day. We have learned; England always play Germany, TVs make dark evenings look light & tennis players are quitters.

With the tennis match I have witnessed a triumph of the human spirit. Mainly because I couldn’t find the remote.

Imagine if they planned this. What a brilliant way for two unknown tennis players to become famous! Without committing a heinous crime!

Nice of @dealornodeal to send the show update; I suspect today’s episode was watched the exactly 3 people. Including my mother.

For all his miserly mutterings and show commentaries follow The Banker @officialbanker on Twitter. www.twitter.com/OfficialBanker

Tags: Banker, Channel 4, deal or no deal, Dream Factory, Follow, followers, Noel Edmonds, tweets, Twitter, wimbledon, World Cup
Posted in DoND Online, The Banker | 3 Comments »

Evil followers only please!

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

Pennyworth’s scruffy urchin of a son has convinced me (the Banker) to start Twittering! At first I found it amusing that the youth of today are so pathetically desperate for attention. Who cares if you’re ‘rediscovering’ Van Halen? I thought to myself, but then it dawned on me that this Internet thingy would allow me to spread my evilness around the world.

You can follow me at http://twitter.com/OfficialBanker

It is a joy to have so many evil followers already. You shall be generals in my army of ne’er-do-wells. You naughty, naughty people…

I shall respond to the Tweets which I deem worthy but don’t forget my butler handles the admin!

@OfficialBanker

Tags: admin, Banker, butler, bx, deal or no deal, Evil, Follow, Official, Twitter
Posted in DoND Online, The Banker | 6 Comments »

Exclusive interview with the Banker about Cops and Robbers week

Monday, May 10th, 2010

From Monday 10th – Sunday 16th May on Channel 4, 4:10pm

This week on Deal or No Deal, that ever stingy soul The Banker proves he’s a big kid at heart as he celebrates his birthday week with a good old-fashioned game of cops and robbers. We managed to ask old money bags a few questions before the party begins:

Q: Firstly let me wish you a very happy birthday Mr. Banker, now you are a year older will you be kind enough to reveal your actual age?

A: No. Next question.

Q: Why did you choose to play Cops and Robbers for the Banker’s Birthday week this year?

A: When I was a young boy, Mummy would always organise a fabulous party to celebrate my birthday. Each one would have a theme and Cops and Robbers was always my firm favourite. I remember it was the theme on my 8th birthday, my 10th and also my 14th. And my 47th. And my 61st.

Q: What can we expect during the Banker’s Birthday week? Is there anything out of the ordinary happening?

A: Oh yes! Contestants this week will come to play Deal or No Deal and will then go to jail. Historically it’s been the other way around I suspect.

Q: For the first time if a player reaches five box in live play, they will have the choice to play for a holiday or to proceed one box at a time. What was your thinking behind this?

A: One of my favourite emotions is regret. I love to see players hopelessly wishing they could turn back the clock to avoid a vicious turn in fortune. The decision at 5 box might give them a glorious victory but ideally it will be one they wake up in a cold sweat over for the rest of their miserable lives.

Q: Although we cannot see you, do you get dressed up along with Noel and the contestants to get into character?

A: Yes. But will I be a cop or a robber? You’ll have to watch to find out!

One thing’s for sure, Cops and Robbers promises a week of gripping shows…it’d be criminal not to tune in!

Tags: Birthday, Channel, Cops, deal or no deal, Exclsuive, Interview, Noel Edmonds, Robbers, The Banker, Week
Posted in The Banker | 15 Comments »

The Banker’s disaterous holiday ending

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

The Banker ends his holiday in Weston-Super-Mare

Disaster. Rain.

This was not supposed to happen. I naturally blame Pennyworth, whose contribution to this trip has been nothing short of disgraceful. The moment the first drop fell, I sacked him on the spot.

He blubbed of course, whining that the Pennyworths had been in my family since the late 1700′s. So what, I thought; so has gout. But, he looked so pathetic, I gave him a final reprieve. I am such a kind and generous man, So very misunderstood by an ignorant public.

However, I was certainly not going to spend the last days of my holiday getting wet so I packed up and jetted home immediately. But…here’s the thing…I’d bought a bucket and spade and I wasn’t going to not get full value out of them. So on arrival back in Britain I jumped in the limo – yes, jumped; I am surprisingly limber when agitated – and told my driver to take me spit spot to the nearest beach.

And so. This is how it comes to pass that I write this final Summer postcard to you, dearest viewers, from the beach at Weston-Super-Mare.

Wish you were here. Instead of me.

See you in the dream factory. Can’t wait to get Dealing again.

B x

Tags: Channel 4, deal or no deal, Dream Factory, End, Holiday, Pennywoth, Postcard, The Banker, Weston-Super-Mare
Posted in The Banker | 9 Comments »

The Banker continues his holiday

Monday, August 10th, 2009

The Banker taking time out

Ah…bliss. I continue to luxuriate here in the Pacific Island sun which is made all the warmer when my pink paper tells me that the weather back home is so ghastly. Scarcely does scorching holiday sun raise the temperature of the soul more than when you know those back home are as dull and wet as a fishing trip to Weston-Super-Mare.

I am turning a delicious shade of lobster pink – carefully of course – I am slathered daily in Factor fifty by Pennyworth, who, by the by, is firmly in my bad books. In fact, increasingly he has a whole dedicated chapter therein. The coconut incident has barely faded from memory before he disgraces himself yet deeper. I will never look at a parrot in the same way again.

Still, he knows how to mix an excellent martini and with a drink in my hand and the sun on my face I crackle away at gas mark fifteen. Pretty soon, I will be cooked through and shall stick a fork in myself to see if my juices run clear.

Enjoy the rain, losers
B x

Tags: Channel 4, deal or no deal, DoND, Game Show, Holiday, Noel Edmonds, Postcard, The Banker, TV
Posted in The Banker | 3 Comments »

The Banker’s Post Card

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

The Banker at the beach

So I find myself at a loose end for a month whilst the contestants take a break from my daily torment. I don’t socialise with Noel, he is insufferably generous and kind so I have gone to my island in the South Pacific, where Pennyworth disgraced himself in an incident with a coconut.

Later that night I sat down and ate my favourite meal, Liver and Fava beans with a nice Chianti. And chips.

There’s nothing better to do whilst on holiday then sort out my piles (of money, of course!) although I must confess those do-gooding contestants have left me a little tight this year, maybe I shall invest in some currency like the Brazilian Real, which seems to be recession proof.

Anyway enough babbling to you idiots, I’ll write again in a week or so

Wish you weren’t here!!!!

Tags: deal or no deal, Holiday, Noel Edmonds, Post Card, The Banker
Posted in The Banker | 4 Comments »

A Post from the Banker

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

Pennyworth’s scruffy urchin of a son is Twittering. It amuses me that the youth of today are so pathetically desperate for attention. Who cares if you’re ‘rediscovering’ Van Halen? I need far less than 140 characters to express myself. I need just 6. “Go away.”

Pennyworth’s son says that’s 7 characters including the space. Nerd.

Hope there’s tears in today’s show. Sweet, salty tears. Delicious.

Tags: Blog, deal or no deal, Noel Edmonds, The Banker
Posted in The Banker | 7 Comments »